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The 5 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is a Complete Idiot

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The 5 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is a Complete Idiot

Luke-Skywalker

We all know Luke Skywalker as the main protagonist throughout the original Star Wars movies and onward into the novels of questionable quality. We all grew up wanting to be him—learning to use the Force, blowing up the Death Star, saving the galaxy. But the thing is, despite all his badass moments, he actually kind of sucks. Perhaps not as much as his father Anakin, but that could be due to Mark Hamill’s acting ability, in that he can act. Sure with the emotional music and all the screen time Luke Skywalker seems to be the hero, but really he’s an idiot who makes bad decisions and has a series of terrible ideas, and he’s lucky it all kind of works out for him, his friends, and the Rebel Alliance in the end.

5) Trusting the Force to Help Him Blow Up the Death Star

I have never really figured out what was so special about Luke using the Force in attacking the first Death Star. As far as I could tell, it did nothing but give Darth Vader a slightly higher level of difficulty in blasting his X-Wing, which he seemed to aptly overcome as he blew up R2-D2, and proceeded to almost blow the crap out of Luke’s X-Wing had Han Solo not saved his ass with the Millennium Falcon. Some might say his use of the Force involved him turning off his targeting computer and trusting himself to shoot the exhaust port. If that’s using the Force then I am using the Force every time I turn off my cruise control in my car. I mean, they make targeting systems for a reason, Luke—and chances are, the Rebel’s would prefer to trust your X-Wing’s highly sophisticated on-board computer than a mystical power you spent a few hours learning yesterday afternoon.

4) Refusing to Listen to the Only Living Jedi in the Galaxy

Luke gets a vision of his dead mentor Obi-Wan telling him to go to Dagobah to get training from the Jedi Master, Yoda. Luke obeys, goes out to Dagobah, finds Yoda, and then proceeds to ignore him at every important turn. Yoda tells him not to go into the scary cave with weapons, Luke doesn’t listen. Yoda gives him a lesson about overcoming great obstacles, and Luke doesn’t take it to heart, can’t lift his own X-Wing and gets all pissy. Yoda and the Ghost of Obi-Wan both tell him not to go running off to Bespin to save his friends as he’s going to endanger everything they fought for. Luke doesn’t listen, goes off to Bespin, helps nobody and gets his damn hand chopped off.

Well done, Luke. Why should “Obi-Wan coming back as a ghost to give important instructions” convey any significance to you? Why should not pay attention to the one muppet who knows how to use the Force? You’re just a jerk who nearly turned into a Hoth-sicle—you surely know better than both of ’em!

3) His Insanely Stupid Plan To Rescue Han Solo from Jabba The Hutt

Let us imagine that Luke Skywalker is trying to tell you his plan to rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt.

Luke: “Okay so, first we get Lando Calrissian posing as a guard inside Jabba’s Palace.”

You: “How do we do that?”

Luke: “We just get him a costume and he—just walks in.”

You: “Um, okay, say it’s that easy. So then Lando gets Han out of the carbonite and we pick them up and get away?”

Luke: “No. What happens next is that I put my lightsaber in a hidden compartment in R2-D2 and send R2-D2 and C3PO to Jabba the Hutt as gifts.”

You: “Wait, why-“

Luke: “Just listen. Next we have Leia pose as a bounty hunter arriving at Jabba’s palace with Chewbacca captured. She’s going to hand over Chewbacca to Jabba.”

You: “Wait, why? Wouldn’t that mean we would now have to rescue Han Solo, Chewbacca, R2-D2 and C3PO? That just makes it more difficult, right?”

Luke: “Just go with me here. Next, Leia is going to sneak around at night and get Han Solo out of the carbonite, but get captured.”

You: “What? Why would we get everyone captured like that?”

Luke: “Now I’ll show up, use my Force powers to get in to Jabba’s fortress, get past the guards to an audience before Jabba and then use my Jedi mind trick to get Jabba to release everyone. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll get captured.”

You: “Okay, if you can just use your Force powers to get in to the palace and all the way to Jabba, then let’s just have you go in right now and get Han out.”

Luke: “No, that’s stupid. I’m going to get myself captured. Because then you see, we’ll be taken to the sarlacc pit and then, when we’re on the skiff, I’ll get sent out first and then R2-D2 will manage to get to the top of Jabba’s sail barge and shoot out my lightsaber, and then with Lando’s help, we’ll just—rescue everyone and then everything will be fine!”

You: “That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of.”

Luke:“I’ve thought of everything.”

You: “Clearly you didn’t.”

2) Throwing Away His Lightsaber in Front of the Emperor

So Luke decides not to put his lightsaber through Darth Vader’s head once he realizes that he’s going along the same dark path as his father. So what does he do next? He tosses away his lightsaber and then proclaims to the Emperor that he is a Jedi. Thus, he has no way to defend himself when the Emperor blasts him with lightning and if it wasn’t for his Father saving his butt (please note how many times Luke gets saved by someone else) he would have been a charred piece of Tatooine bacon. Okay, yes, tossing away the lightsaber makes a definitive statement of renouncing Father-killing, but what did he think would happen other than the Emperor kicking his ass? Did Luke think that perhaps he would proclaim “I am a Jedi, like my father before me,” and the Emperor would suddenly shout “No! You are the purest good! I am nothing in the presence of your light!” and then fling himself backward into the chasm? Why didn’t Luke just try to give the Emperor a big hug and kisses and call him a ‘snookle bear.’ He’s a master of the Dark Side, so of course he’s going to kick your ass. Luke was warned not to underestimate the Emperor…so of course, he does exactly that.

1) Not Joining the Dark Side

No, seriously! Luke gets dumped on his whole life—his adoptive parents get killed, all his friends get injured or killed, the girl he falls in love with turns out to be his sister, his father turns out to be one of the most evil people in the galaxy, his hand gets cut off. Then he gets a chance to co-rule the galaxy. Who wouldn’t take that offer at that point?

What has Luke had to look forward to after the original trilogy? Mostly trying to start up the whole Jedi Order by himself, which is a ton of work, and watching Han have almost constant sex with Leia. Between that and ruling with Vader, it’s not unlike a choice between working in your local library and becoming President. Not really much of a choice there. And ou can comment all you want about the Dark Side being a path to pain and suffering and a loss of humanity, but let’s face it—the Dark Side is simply cooler. Members of the Sith have neat custom lightsabers, get to slap everyone around, and just plain look cooler. For Halloween, how many Luke costumes do you see people wearing nowadays? Zero. How many Darth Vader costumes do you see? Still too many to count. Bad is good, baby.

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Hello All! My name is Chris and I am a 32 year old entrepreneur that has always been fascinated with anything that is different from the everyday norm . Lately, it has been hard to keep up with everything, whether it's cool and weird places to visit, or new bands that are creating different sounds.

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The Five Best Luxury Electric Vehicles on the Market

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The electric vehicle market is growing rapidly. 2018 saw record numbers of new registrations in December alone, with over 65,000 EV’s purchased. We normally associate electric vehicles with mid-range manufacturers such as Nissan, but luxury manufacturers are now entering the market themselves. Grange vehicles, who offer the stunning Jaguar E-Pace, are taking a look at five of the best luxury electric cars on the market today.

1) Tesla Model S

Tesla is a household name when it comes to EV’s and the Model S is world famous. According to Tesla’s official site, the company is ‘accelerating the world’s transition to sustainable energy. The Model S offers a hugely impressive 370-miles range and its Dual Motor All-Wheel Drive makes it a perfect drive in all weather conditions. Filled with an abundance of cutting-edge technology and an extremely spacious seating plan, this vehicle is the epitome of luxury.

2) Jaguar I-Pace

The Jaguar logo is instantly recognizable all over the world. Synonymous with great design, Jaguar is a brand that commands respect. Known for its power, the Jaguar may not be the first to roll off the tongue when you think about electric vehicles. However, the Jaguar I-Pace offers a superb 0-60mph in 4.5 seconds and offers up to 292 miles WLTP cycle. With amazing weight distribution, its electric motors deliver 696Nm of instant torque and sports car agility. The multi-award-winning model was named 2019 World Green Car and 2019 World Car Design of the Year at this year’s World Car Awards. You can build the car to your own spec, or if you want a more budget-friendly model, a used Jaguar may be the better option.

3) Aston Martin Rapide E

The battery-powered Aston Martin Rapide E is perfect (if you have a spare £250,000)! Replacing the 552bhp 6.0-litre, V12 found in the engine bay of the Rapide S is a battery packing 800 volts and a 65khw capacity which will allow the equivalent of 602bhp. With a range of up to 310 miles, this car won’t see you stuck as is so often the presumption (albeit it an archaic presumption). It will feature two electric motors which will drive a rear wheel each via an Xtract-developed transmission.

4) Range Rover P400e

Although the P400e isn’t fully electric, the hybrid offers all of the benefits of an EV combined with the off-road abilities of Range Rover. It was first unveiled at the Los Angeles Auto Show last year. It can be driven in parallel hybrid mode, which combines both petrol and electric and is the default driving mode, or EV mode, which is perfect for zero emission journeys. It symbolizes the shift from petrol and diesel vehicles to electric, with Jaguar Land Rover to offer an electrified option by next year.

5) Porsche Taycan

In 2015, Porsche revealed it’s first electric car concept, the Mission E but now the full production version has hit the dealerships. The Taycan is set to be a highly premium electric car that’s set to rival Tesla’s Model S. It’s set to be unveiled at this year’s Frankfurt Motor Show and is to lead the way for Porsche’s attack on the electric vehicle sector, with the likes of the Macan to be transformed into a fully electric offering.

The Taycan’s capabilities will see it able to reach 62mph in under 3.5 seconds and reach a maximum speed of 155mph. The move won’t allow Porsche to lose its roots however, according to Oliver Blume, chairman of the Porsche executive board. He said: “We are resolutely taking on the challenge of electric mobility. Even with solely battery-powered sports cars, Porsche is remaining true to its philosophy and offering our customers the sportiest and technologically most sophisticated model in this market segment.” The success of the electric vehicle market will undoubtedly revolutionize the automotive industry as a whole. Additionally, an increase in related services such as EV charging from suppliers such as Northern Powergrid  has meant that the market can continue to grow. It’s clear that all car manufacturers, no matter what their status, have electric vehicles firmly in their sights. As the concept becomes more popular, prices will likely decrease and technology will continue to improve.

 

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3 Cool Ideas for 3D Printing

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Businesses now use 3D printers and 3d printing services to bring product prototypes to life and present ideas in a visual manner. However, as the technology becomes more accessible, consumers are also beginning to purchase the item. 3D printers, along with drones, are among the most desired gadgets. Some experts believe that each household will own one. The possibility that these printers provide is limited only by one’s imagination.

Smartphone Accessories

Many 3D printer enthusiasts use the device to create their accessories for smartphones or tablets. Although the process may require learning some design techniques, people can download a template design or modify existing ideas to create something unique and personalized. The items for smartphones do not end in just cases. If you can think it and draw it, you can create and print it, including items such as tripods, phone stands, hands-free devices for cars, accessories to hide the phone cables, macro lenses, and much more.

Model Cars

Another idea is to print model cars and start a 3D printed collection. Car manufacturers are starting to allow the filtering of 3D technology into their production process. For example, Ford fanatics can download files from an authorized online store and print a 3D model version. The Ford Motor Company recently launched an online store specializing in images and files associated with 3D printing that provided enthusiasts with access to create models of a Ford Mustang GT350R, among other car models.

3D printing does raise questions about the ethics and legality of printing replicated and patent-protected items. For example, is it legal or ethical to print a Mickey Mouse figurine for your kids to play with without Disney’s consent? Some companies such as Honda decided to embrace the technology and move past the problems by taking the initiative of allowing enthusiasts access to printing such items. The Honda 3D website is not just limited to cars. The site includes the ability for site visitors to print items including anime-like Puyo and Fuya-jo designs.

Movie Props

Another cool idea is to print props from your favorite movies. A great example of a massive cult-like following is Star Wars and the possibility of printing a Stormtrooper helmet or other movie props. The helmet from Episode VII is available for download, and these Stormtrooper or imperial soldier designs keep an original feel while also providing one’s own personality to be incorporated into the design. The options also include the Crossguard Lightsaber shown in the latest movie, Master Yoda, and even the Death Star. The level of personalization and customization is just not possible without the advent of 3D printing technology. Also, the printing of accessories can add details for any custom-made costume.  

The growing popularity of 3D printers and 3d printing services creates scenarios where these types of projects are more common. Therefore, companies need to revisit their idea on patents and strike a balance between protecting their intellectual property and providing the marketplace with what consumers want. As printing popularity grows, different industries and categories of products will emerge. One of these is sustainable 3D printing and the use of environmentally-friendly components. Those who are interested in such type of products can look toward the Q1 2018 Sustainable Funds Review, as these types of investments in alternatives will help create new emerging markets. The future is green, and 3D printing can be part of it.

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The Worlds Most Extreme Aquariums

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An aquarium would make a valuable addition to any household, big or small; however, they can be a daunting task for anyone who is new to the wonderful world of tropical & coldwater fish.  For any fish beginners, an ideal starting point would be a simple 10 gallon aquarium with a few goldfish and the odd plastic plant and tank decoration thrown in for good measure.  There is a wide range of beginners guides to owning an aquarium available on Amazon; online aquarium supply companies, such as Joes Aquatic World, will provide you with everything you need to create your ideal aquatic environment for your tropical & coldwater friends.

As time goes by, you will find yourself wanting to gradually improve your aquarium by either adding more fish or increasing the size of your aquarium.  If you are in need of some ideas about how far you can push the boundaries of your aquarium, then look no further because we have compiled a list of some of the most extreme aquariums known to man.

THE LABYRINTH AQUARIUM

 

Somewhat reminiscent of a gerbil cage, this aptly-titled Labyrinth Aquarium has 6 individual globes that are all connected by tubes.  It also has its own ambient lighting to create the perfect glow for your aquarium.  Be warned, it will set you back a little over £6,000!

JELLYFISH AQUARIUM

 

This desktop jellyfish aquarium is highly unconventional, primarily because keeping jellyfish as a pet is incredibly difficult.  This is mainly a result of the inherent fragility of jellyfish, which are at risk of being killed by incorrect filtration equipment.  The unique design of this aquarium ensures that jellyfish are kept in the centre of the tank and safely away from water inlets, which makes it the perfect desktop accessory.

AQUARIUM COFFEE TABLE

 

This innovative and eye-catching aquarium-coffee-table hybrid is guaranteed to catch the eye of anyone that comes across it.   It is available in four different colours- beech, rosewood, silver, and black, and it is sure to give pleasure to both you and your aquarium inhabitants.

AQUADOM, BERLIN RADISSON BLU HOTEL

 

Although you could never hope of owning this magnificent aquarium for yourself, you can certainly sit back and admire its sheer opulence and beauty.  The AquaDom is a living-art installation that is located within the Radisson Blu Hotel in Berlin, Germany.  It features a 1 million gallon aquatic cylinder, which contains an elevator made of pure glass! This will allow you to truly immerse yourself in an aquatic environment that would only be possible at home if you jumped in the bath with your troupe of goldfish

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Weirdest bets in history

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Betting is now a major pastime; whether its passing a few spare minutes or sitting down to a poker game, and with so many online casinos offering dizzying welcome bonuses, what is there to stop you?

There are all sorts of novelty bets out there – you just need to ask your local bookie. It can be whether your kid will be a footballer, who will win the next election or how many days the latest fad celeb marriage will last. It’s all worked out on probability statistics, so essentially you can bet on anything. After wading through some of the most unusual bets in history we’ve come up with our favourite three.

A Welshmans Accumulator

In 1989 an anonymous Welshman placed an accumulator bet at his local bookies on three different situations. He was offered odds of 6479/1 that they would all come true, promptly paid in £30 (£10 to each situation) and went on his way.

The novelty bets he placed were these: that Cliff Richard would be knighted before the year 2000, that U2 would stay together past the year 2000 and that Eastenders and Neighbours would stay on the BBC until at least 2000. After 11 years he wandered back into the bookies with a faded betting slip asking that he could collect his winnings they came to £194,400, the largest ever payout on a novelty bet.

Iowa Bet

Renowned high-stakes gambler John Hennigan is known just as much for his betting ability as he is for his infamous night life in Vegas. After some particularly hair-raising shenanigans, friends bet him $100,000 that he could live in Des Moines, Iowa; the place they considered the most boring ever. The bet was duly accepted with the usual macho pride and this will be easy attitude, but after just 2 days Hennigan returned to Vegas with his tail between his legs and paid out his bet to his friends.

Life Savings Bet

You’d have to be crazy to sell everything and bet your entire lifes worth, right? Well Kent resident Ashley Revell, aged 32, bet his life savings in 2004 on a single turn of the roulette wheel. Placing £76,840 that the ball would land on red in a Vegas casino he won a cool £153,680.

Casinos like spinit casino can definitely be lucky for some, but we certainly wouldn’t suggest betting your life if not for the sole fact that your wife might not be too happy. What are the weirdest bets you’ve ever placed?

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Punch Me Panda

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Performance artist Nate Hill is at it again with his Punch Me Panda project. In this community service experiment, Nate travels around New York City, offering strangers the chance to hit him for a penny as a way for them to release pent up emotions.

The Wall Street Journal has a fantastic photo essay and article at the link below.

Wall Street Journal: “Punch Me Panda”

Nate Hill has reincarnated! Earlier this year, the artist had himself a Manhattan walkabout (and Tweetfest) as a masked, 100% white-clad Mr. Dropout, “detachment walking” through the city in his “cocoon,” meditating and kind of resembling this LES character. Then he went “missing.” And now, he’s back as Punch Me Panda. It’s a panda. You can punch it.

It will cost you a penny per punch. Servicing Brooklyn this November, Punch Me Panda (a homeless Bronx Zoo escapee) will virtually become your anger outlet. He’ll come to your house by appointment when New York is getting you down and you can punch at it with boxing gloves. Sounds like a socially beneficial and potentially life-threatening endeavor. Unlike Death Bear that mostly attracted girls, this is more “man friendly.” Let the unisex rage expulsion begin!

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Stats should find Grand National winner

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Stats should find Grand National winner

We’re just two weeks away from the world’s greatest horse race – one in which the inhabitants of the UK gamble somewhere between £150m and £200m each year!

Most people simply pick out a name they like and cheer their selection on in front of the TV; it’s a British tradition. This is partly because the race is traditionally seen as one that pretty much any hose can win. And when you consider the enormous fences that have to be jumped over four and a half miles of turf, with 40 horses in the race each year – it’s easy to see where that belief comes from. And there have been plenty of very long-shot winners over the years.

But actually, if you analyse the statistics of the winners of the race – you can narrow the field down quite markedly yet still retain a few long-shot bets.

For example, over the last three decades, 80% of winners have been aged 9, 10 or 11 and the average weight carried by the winner over that period is 10st-08¾lbs. Yet still some of the closest-priced favourites have well over 11stones.

Then when you consider that four out of every five winners during recent years had run over hurdles in the season in which they won the Grand National, that all the last ten winners of the race had previously won a race worth £17k or more, and had run over fences at least ten times and that they’d all previously won over at least three miles – it narrows the field right down.

This takes a bit of work, but is well worth the effort if you’re planning to have a bet on the Grand National.

And if you are planning to, it’s also worth doing so early. This means placing an ante-post bet which also means you run the risk of losing your stake entirely should you selection not take part in the race for any reason. But the prices of the leading contenders tend to get marked right down on the day with the bookmakers – so it’s often worth the risk.

It’s also worth considering making your bet on an exchange, like Betfair, for example. Here, there is no traditional bookmaker – it’s simply an exchange; a market of buyers and sellers like any other and the odds generally tend to be better (but not always so it’s worth double-checking this information first).

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