1. Greene, NY: It’s against the law to eat peanuts and walk backwards down the street while a concert is playing.

That’s just not right! Everyone knows that walking backwards whilst listening to music is the BEST POSSIBLE WAY to eat peanuts! Brethren of New York, rise up!!

2. Massachusetts: At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.

What, mourners aren’t allowed to have a healthy appetite? Grief is hard work; and sometimes the best way to remember someone is with lots of sandwiches. Bob would have wanted it this way.

3. Beech Grove, IN: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.

This is so typical of Big Government, trying to get their hands on your life. Why do the city fathers of Beech Grove hate watermelon picnics so much? WHAT ARE THEY HIDING??

4. Riverside, CA: One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o’clock.

So: no lunches outside, then? Why not, Riverside?? Are you afraid of what might happen if people were free to eat their lunches anywhere?!

5. Maryland: It’s against the law to eat while swimming in the ocean.

Another oppressive law that must be overthrown. If you live anywhere near Maryland or can afford to travel there, please please go there and swim and eat. We need to end the madness. Also, animals apparently violate this law all the time.

6. Marion, OH: It’s a violation to eat a donut while walking backwards.

This guy sez: “How dare you try to tell me how to eat my donut! This is America!!”

7. Carmel, NY: It’s illegal to eat ice cream while standing on the sidewalk.

So that’s vague. Can I walk and eat ice cream on the sidewalk? What about sitting on the sidewalk with my cone? Running? Laying down? Well, Carmel????

8. Rosemead, CA: Eating ice cream in public with a fork is prohibited.

Nobody does this, of course. But that’s not the point. The point is that THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO EAT ICE CREAM WITH A FORK IF THEY WANT TO.

9. California: It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub.

This is beyond stupid — a totally unenforceable law for a totally safe activity that any consenting adult can engage in. Take to your bathtubs, Californians.

10. Boston: It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.

Again with the peanuts!! Sure, it may be disrespectful to some if you’re going to town on a bag o’ nuts during Sunday Service, but do you really think God cares? Why else would we have hands, if not to eat wherever we please?

Hamburgers, next to apple pie and statins they’re the ambassadors of American cuisine–for better or for worse–and these harbingers of heart disease might be the baddest of all.

Here are 10 over the top hamburgers that are guaranteed to clog your arteries by just looking that them:

1. The Quadruple Bypass Burger

The Quadruple Bypass Burger from the Heart Attack Grill; four burger patties with side orders of Jolt Cola, unfiltered Lucky Strike cigarettes and French fries deep-fried in pure lard.

2.McSurf n’ Turf

While this burger is definitely going to jack your cholesterol up a few points from all the saturated fat in the 1/4 lber patty, hopefully some of the Omega 3 Fatty acids from the fish (if that really is fish), will help counter off some of the negative effects on your health.

This lovely blend of beef and fish comes equipped with 1 1/4 pounder patty, 1 filet of fish patty, numerous slices of cheese, tartar sauce and 3 bun pieces.

3. Big Daddy Barrick Burger

Sonya Thomas, a 5′5 99-pound competitive eating champion, downed an 18 pound Big Daddy Barrick Burger in Las Vegas a few years ago.

4.Mega Mel Burger

The Mega Mel Burger might just be the biggest burger to ever walk this planet (Cows walk before they are slaughtered so shut it).  The burger contains 1.5 lbs of fresh ground beef, 1 lb of bacon, 1/4 lb of American cheese, lots of lettuce,tomatoes and pickles.

This burger is offered at Mel’s Country Cafe located in Tomball, Texas. What makes this burger EXTRA special is that if you can finish the ENTIRE thing in two hours, you even get to put your name on the wall! You can have your name in the lights with hundreds of other obese Americans! Just make sure you don’t let anybody pick off your plate or you will be disqualified.

5. The Hotdog Hamburger

6. Mulligan’s Monster

Mulligan’s invented the Hamdog, one hotdog wrapped in a beef patty and cheese, then deep-fried, covered with chili and onions and served on a bun with a fried egg on top.

7. 7 Patty 2 lbs McDonalds Cheese Burger

McDonalds has long been ranked the ‘King of Cholesterol’ and this was for the standard foods they offer.  When I saw this picture of a 7 patty 2lbs cheese burger I personally upped their status from King of Cholesterol to Empire.

8. Dyer’s Burgers

Dyer’s Burgers are deep-fried hamburgers piled with mustard, onion and pickle and paired with a single, double or triple-order of cheese fries.

9. Whatafarm Burger

Whataburger puts the entire farm in one sandwich; bacon, cheese, fried egg, burger patty, and chicken cutlet. They affectionately call it the “Whatafarm” burger.

10. Luther Burger

Another Mulligan’s creation, the Luther Burger. Named after Luther Vandross it’s a bacon cheeseburger sandwiched between two glazed donuts.

Now, I hope you all find it incredibly ironic that a guy who doesn’t eat meat was asked to compile a list of monstrous hamburgers. I do. ]]> http://thebizzare.com/bizarre-stuff/the-10-heart-attack-hamburgers/feed/ 1