Questions I have never been able to answer
Posted by rappin on February 12, 2008 · 17 Comments
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder……
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.”
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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that is really smart .. how could you notice all these things???
There all great!!! but I have an answer for the “Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?”
Thats because to them our breath smells like ass (there sense of smell it 7-10 million times greater than ours) we when they stick there head out the window there getting a real breath of fresh air. You have to admit if some peoples breath smells like they just got done eating a plate of shit, can you imagine what it smells like to them. I know I have come across people who can knock out the toughest person with one wif of there dragon breath.
Hillarious I laughed all the way through, keep goin. Matthew
“Thats because to them our breath smells like ass (there sense of smell it 7-10 million times greater than ours) we when they stick there head out the window there getting a real breath of fresh air. You have to admit if some peoples breath smells like they just got done eating a plate of shit, can you imagine what it smells like to them. I know I have come across people who can knock out the toughest person with one wif of there dragon breath.
Hillarious I laughed all the way through, keep goin. Matthew”
I think thats wrong, As its a fact dogs actually like bad smells. Such as rotting fish and FARTS! They enjoy sticking there heads out the window because the world to a dog is full of wonderful scents and they are all passing by. Although some people would say a dogs see you blowing in its face as a sign of aggression. But then this is only my opinion. Anyway i found this article is VERY interesting and funny, good work.
What is the speed of darkness?
Well, since the darkness is the opposite of the light, their speed is equal..
speed of light = -speed of darkness
1: coz he shaves..?
2: it works, dont need to know why
3: … beats me.. but again, my bank dont charge fees for anything..
4: imagine banging your head in the cockpit during takoff, pass out and blow your own shit up..
5: its easier to check wet paint than to count the stars.
6: someone who wanted to easily explain how it sounded
7: same as speed of light.. stupid..
8: have you ever seen a baby sleep? i think it is the calmest thing you can ever see.
9:-8.8..
10: … i dont know really.. have someone made a national survey of this?
11: before my time, i am not sure..
12: to get a better overview..
13: jea..
14: someone who lived lived with cows and saw the calves do it.. smart man..
15: dont really think someone said that..
16: have you asked every human beeing?
17: my freezer has a light..
18: because a bathroom can be used for more than pooping
19:its not like its nok uncomfortable allready.. no need to make it worse..
20: its a cartoon.. its doesnt need to be logical..
20: are quizzez quizzical? didnt know that..
21:primarily mineral oil.. http://www.bodymindbreath.com/content/BabyOil check it if you doubt me…
22: haha.. word puhn.. but quite often it does, yes..
23: catchy tune? easy to learn children?
24: what effect is to be had of alpabeth soup?
25: i dont know.. first good question
26: no.. did you really not get that?
OK, i am lonely, and bored.. cheers.
Wow, what a humor killer. thanks a million b0g.
Why are these so hard? I have answers to ALL of them:
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
– Tarzan does not really exist. He is a fictional character made first in a book, then on TV. For the TV version of the character, he must look visually appealing so people will watch the show. Hence, no beard.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
– Because sometimes it works.
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
– Most of the time account holders will want to keep their accounts indefinitely, since that is where their paycheck is direct-deposited into. Taking the fee out now (at the moment the NSF transaction occurs), even though the account goes into the negative, guarantees that they will still get their fees later when your next deposit hits the account. It is set up as a deterrent to limit their overall risk.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
– Kamikazes have a singular-purpose mission: kill the enemy, even if they die in the process. They can’t fulfill that mission if they accidentally bump their head and knock themselves unconscious while getting into their planes.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
– Because sometimes people act on impulse, not on logic. (However, a person such as this seems easily swayed, so you might want to look for new friends.)
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
– Probably the same person who invented the words “buzz” and “bang”, since each word sounds like the sound it is intended to describe.
What is the speed of darkness?
– Darkness is the absence of light. Therefore it doesn’t move and has no speed.
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?
– Because when the baby is actually sleeping, it sleeps a perfect blissful sleep. We’re talking quality here, not quantity.
If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
– That depends on what temperature scale, Fahrenheit or Celsius.
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
– It just seems longer. In fact, married people actually die sooner due to aggravation (or suicide).
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
– Because nobody ever set out to “improve luggage usage”, but we put billions of dollars behind “going to the moon”.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
– Have you ever tried it? If you have, you wouldn’t be asking the question. It’s all about perspective.
Did you ever stop and wonder……
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.”
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
– Yes, I did stop to wonder. But then I figured that it’s because nobody ever thought of it.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
– Yes, I did stop to wonder. But then I realized that they are both fictional characters, and I realized that I didn’t care.
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
– Yes, I did stop to wonder. But then I just did a search on Google, and I learned that baby oil is made from mineral oil and fragrance. Mystery solved.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
– Yes, I did stop to wonder. But then I realized that one was written first, and the other borrowed the tune from the first to make a new song.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
– No, I have never stopped to wonder.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
– Yes, I did notice. But then I realized that, like humans, dogs have free will, and doing something by choice is different than being forced to do something by somebody who thinks they are your owner.
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
– No.
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Simple. Low testosterone levels.
These questions are inherent of a simple lack of in-depth understanding and
evaluation of what exactly the source of reasoning is… As an example one of your “un-answerable” questions. “Why doesnt Tarzan have a beard?
This question implies a common “human-like” characteristic to a fictional
“non-human” cartoon and Hollywood figure..The simplistic presentation of your question suggest that any human-like male figure would certainly have garnished some sort of facial hair..The problem with your analysis is
that you assume the idea of a realistic characterization which
eliminates the possibility of fictional perception (as most fictional cartoons do) By using your standard..I ask you why does Bart Simpson never grow old or Why cant the Coyote ever catch the Road-runner?
Another question you ask..If Corn oil is made of corn..then what is Baby oil made from?…Yea this is cute and we all laughed..but this certainly is not un-answerable..this question just simmers with the feel of some sort of hyper alcoholic meandering into a little play place for young minds to
bathe…Your question gets a slight joust of simple humor from the hanging thought that perhaps baby oil comes from babies.. The question
lacks true evaluation into process. Do I need to actually tell you that baby oil is a product name from J&J. The product itself is a simple blend
of natural oils (mostly mineral)…Hmmm..that would mean no babies..Again
a question or rather a tricky little joke?
Continuing….. Several other “un- answerable” questions fill this mantra.
The question about Quizzies and quizzical..This is just another “silly” attempt to get the reader to fill in the blank..much like the Baby oil question this question lets the reader say in their mind the hit line
or word Testies or testicles…HA..HA..wasnt that a hoot??
I made you say a funny word that has nothing to do with the content of
original question.. These sort of questions seem to be the bulk of your
pathetic “un-answerable” questions.. Another example would be the
electron and moron prose. Is the reader supposed to go into deep trance like thought when you offer such counter evaluations such as this?
Hmmm lets see…Well I quess,,,because electricity does come from electrons then I suppose that morality comes from morons..These sort of question certainly lack any real validity..So from your petty list I have compiled the only questions that might have a certain degree of un-answerablilty to them and they include:
1) The goofy question..This is actually a good question..They are infact both dogs.. The answer would only come from the original idea of the character and the artist..I probably could find a reasonable answer with a little research.
2) The Alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle little star song comparison.
This is another good question, but I dont think it is un- answerable.
It probably took on the same melody because of its well known sound was easy for children (learning the alphabet) to remember.
The rest of your questions are a mirage of hyperbole that are speculative
and situational at best.. They are all answerable with a little comprehension and follow-up..Good try however.
Haha Jamo’s such a d-bag.
Harry too.
Gooo rappin.
Lol I have a light in my freezer… And some of the questions are just stupid.
Blah-blah-blah. I don’t care about you opinion, your words mean nothing to me. I’m big, bad and always just.
As far as the songs, Ba Ba Black Sheep is the same tune as well.
my frige has a light my dog does not stick its head out the window the songs were made from the same guy
you ssssssssuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkk