Lifestyles of the Animated and High
But Shaggy’s not the only animated guy toking up in the back seat of the Mystery Machine. Check out the secret drug addictions of these ten cartoon characters.
Defendant: Yogi Bear
Drug of Choice: Marijuana
Shaggy’s not the only one indulging in a spliff. Perhaps Yogi grows his own in Jellystone National Park. An omnipresent yearning for pic-a-nic baskets and Ranger Smith paranoia are both signs of the pot smoker. Plus his mention that he’s “smarter than the average bear” is a version of the “I swear, I’m not drunk” tell.
Drug of Choice: Anabolic steroids
He’s a mild-mannered Shoeshine Boy – until Polly Purebred’s in trouble. Then he pops an “Underdog Super Energy Pill” and he morphs into a canine version of Superman. In the mid-to-late 80s, they edited the pill-popping scenes out. That way no one would know what steroids are!
Defendant: Sherman (of Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman)
Drug of Choice: LSD
Sherman is “owned” by a “genius dog” named “Mr. Peabody” and takes “trips” in the “WABAC machine” that go “back in time.” ‘Nuff said.
Defendant: Wilma Flintstone & Betty Rubble (of The Flintstones)
Drug of Choice: Valium
Wilma and Betty are the cave precursors to Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Although Fred and Barney are less douchey than dopey. The only way that they haven’t gone all Bam-Bam on their men has to be a healthy dose of Mother’s Little Helper.
Defendant: Morocco Mole (of The Secret Squirrel Show.)
Drug of Choice: Hashish
He’s from Morocco. He’s got beady eyes. And he wears a fez but no pants?
Defendant: Jem (of Jem and the Holograms)
Drug of Choice: Ecstasy
When her father died, he left her Synergy, a holographic computer designed to be the “ultimate visual entertainment synthesizer.” I’m sure he left her his happy pills, too. Jem single-handedly introduced rave culture to the tween set.
Defendant: Speedy Gonzalez
Drug of Choice: Crank
This one’s pretty obvious. Although I discovered that Speedy, as well as being a speed freak, was also a pimp. Maybe he was chasing his high some 72-hour weekend as well?
Defendant: Elroy Jetson (of The Jetsons)
Drug of Choice: Ritalin
Brilliant. Focused. Straight-A student. Never gets into trouble. With parents like clueless George and perfectionist Jane, this kid’s gotta be on something.
Drug of Choice: Diet pills.
She’s a former model and a past Miss Transylvania who’s managed to keep her figure. All before heroin chic!
Defendant: Tom (of Tom & Jerry)
Drug of Choice: Vicodin
What sort of drugs do you think the characters of your favorite cartoons/comics do?