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Cricket Jokes and Jibes

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Sad as it may be the scandals affecting our sport connected to the world of betting have added richly to the lexicon of jokes available over the years. And, as with many such cases when it comes to humor, the fact that they deal with a delicate subject makes them funnier.

Here’s one to get you in the mood; The Pakistani team have issued a statement expressing their shock at the alleged involvement of three Pakistani players in match-fixing. They’ve promised to clean up their act before the 2-1 series defeat to the West Indies next summer.

Or how about the Pakistani international cricketer who refused to take a bribe? And his name? Why it’s “Asif” of course!

OK, we’ll go easy on Pakistan now as all that scandal is well and truly behind them and it’s not as if betting on cricket can’t liven up the otherwise dullest of test matches now is it? You can bet on just about anything these days – and with Betfair cricket becomes more exciting – particularly for the real aficionados of the game who understand its subtleties. That’s because Betfair is an exchange so you can accept bets as well as make them – acting as the bookmaker as it were. In these cases, someone who really deeply understands the swings of fortune that can occur in a test match can back and lay with Betfair, gradually building their stake up regardless of the outcome if they’re shrewd enough.

And if bribery really is rife within cricket – then spare a thought for the poor England Twenty20 team Captain Stuart Broad who said after the team’s poor showing in Bangladesh; “I just don’t get it, it was an important game for us so I bribed the umpire, but we still lost!”

“It’s awful isn’t it” said Pakistan’s Twenty20 captain Mohammad Hafeez, “it’s getting so bad that you just don’t know who you can trust these days!”

And finally, while we’re on the subject of unpredictable matches; I’ve been teaching a few hobbits how to play cricket. Bilbo’s not bad at catching, but he can’t really Frodo….groan!

 

 

 

 

Hello All! My name is Chris and I am a 32 year old entrepreneur that has always been fascinated with anything that is different from the everyday norm . Lately, it has been hard to keep up with everything, whether it's cool and weird places to visit, or new bands that are creating different sounds.

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Clown Is in Town

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Clown Is in Town

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Clowns are comical performers, stereotypically characterized by their grotesque appearances: colored wigs, stylistic makeup, outlandish costumes, unusually large footwear, red-nose, etc., who entertain spectators by acting in a hilarious fashion. The types of their acts varies greatly. Although some find clowns to be scary, their intended purpose is to entertain people, especially young children. Peter Berger writes that “It seems plausible that folly and fools, like religion and magic, meet some deeply rooted needs in human society.” For this reason, clowning is often considered an important part of training as a physical performance discipline, partly because tricky subject matter can be dealt with, but also because it requires a high level of risk and play in the performer.

Clowning was developed from a broad tradition of historical performances, and it is difficult to point out a singular tradition or even a few different ones as being the primary precursors to clowns.[citation needed] However there are a few past prominent forms of entertainment contemporarily linked to clowning as its possible antecedents.

Examples of historical, “clown-like” comedic performers have been the pantomimus in ancient Greece, the Lazzi of Commedia dell’Arte, bouffons, court jesters, as well as the French mime tradition. On top of this there are many non-European clowning traditions (including clown-like figures in Japanese Kabuki theatre) to consider which may or may not have influenced what we now think of as a clown.

A whiteface character does not always wear the classic whiteface makeup. Additionally, a character can wear traditional whiteface makeup and be an auguste.

Classic appearance. Traditionally, the whiteface clown uses “clown white” makeup to cover his or her entire face and neck with none of the underlying flesh color showing. In the European whiteface makeup, the ears are painted red. Features, in red and black, are delicate. He or she is traditionally costumed far more extravagantly than the other two clown types, sometimes wearing the ruffled collar and pointed hat which typify the stereotypical “clown suit”.

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Different Between Rich and Poor

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Different Between Rich and Poor

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Rich man carries pretty woman with his awesome motorbike!

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Poor man carries pity goat with his awful bike!

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Transport or transportation is the movement of people and goods from one location to another. Modes of transport include air, rail, road, water, cable, pipeline, and space. The field can be divided into infrastructure, vehicles, and operations.

Transport infrastructure consists of the fixed installations necessary for transport, and may be roads, railways, airways, waterways, canals and pipelines, and terminals such as airports, railway stations, bus stations, warehouses, trucking terminals, refueling depots (including fueling docks and fuel stations), and seaports. Terminals may be used both for interchange of passengers and cargo and for maintenance.

Vehicles traveling on these networks may include automobiles, bicycles, buses, trains, trucks, people, helicopters, and aircraft. Operations deal with the way the vehicles are operated, and the procedures set for this purpose including financing, legalities and policies. In the transport industry, operations and ownership of infrastructure can be either public or private, depending on the country and mode.

Passenger transport may be public, where operators provide scheduled services, or private. Freight transport has become focused on containerization, although bulk transport is used for large volumes of durable items. Transport plays an important part in economic growth and globalization, but most types cause air pollution and use large amounts of land. While it is heavily subsidized by governments, good planning of transport is essential to make traffic flow, and restrain urban sprawl.

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Bring out the baby in you

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Bring out the baby in you

These new set of t-shirts are a part of an ad campaign by Evian. These t-shirts have gained humongous success and have left an impact on people. The ads have been shot by renowned photographer Nathanial Goldberg. The significance of the campaign is to encourage people to bring out the child within themselves.

evian-live-young-advertising-1The t-shirts are designed to look like a baby version of yourself with the body of a baby drawn out from the neck down, giving it a laughable portrait of your grown up self as a baby. The t-shirts have been printed in a wide range to cover people of all skins. The ad has been shot using fair skinned and dark skinned people to promote harmony among all cultures and races. The ad really bring out the message to unleash the child within you and to take have fun like you used to in your childhood.

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The 10 Most Ridiculous Rapper Chains

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The 10 Most Ridiculous Rapper Chains

Rappers love their jewelry. Some rappers don’t even have their own homes but as long as the ice is right, it’s all gravy like Fat Joe’s dinner table. I’ve seen some cool rapper chains…but I’ve also seen a lot of terrible ones. More often than not rappers seem to buy chains for reaction rather than thinking “is this something I’ll actually wear a week from now?” Here are the 10 most ridiculous rapper chains.

10. YUNG BERG

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Berg’s chain wasn’t the worst looking one around, but I just don’t understand why this guy has  a Transformers symbol around his neck? Was he in the movie? I used to like to watch The Flintstones but I also have a grip on reality and don’t need an iced out Barney. If you love a certain cartoon tell people on Facebook…not your neck.

9. YUNG JOC

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Yung Joc’s chain says “Hustlenomics.” It could also seriously injure a baby. The worst thing about this chain is just how big and terrible it looks…kinda just like a hunk of metal hanging off his neck. The person wearing it doesn’t help the situation either. The “H” is for horrible.

8. GUCCI MANE

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Cowabullshit. Why would a grown ass man want this chain? Isn’t your chain supposed to impress women? Imagine screwin’ a chick with Bart Simpson hangin’ on her titties? Yeah sure Bart’s happy but you look like a tool.

7. GHOSTFACE KILLAH

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Yes Ghostface used to wear a dinner plate around his neck…he also used to wear a gigantic eagle on his arm. And while the plate does look ridiculous, it also opened the door for everyone to rock chains. Hit your mom’s china cabinet, get some rope and your in business. Even little Ghostface rocked it:

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6. VERBAL FROM THE TERIYAKI BOYZ

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“Ya colors too bright.” Not too sure what to say about this one. It looks like someone shitted out coloured diamonds and this is what happened. It’s not that surprising since the guy is wearing 3-D glasses. I’d need to be in a drug induced coma to wear this.

5. RICK ROSS

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Unless you ARE Jesus Christ, don’t do this. The worst part is that some people probably mistake it for Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince wearing sunglasses. The question remains: Are those sunglasses iced out Ricky is rockin’ real or fake?

4. BUSTA RHYMES

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If you are gonna drop serious dollars on a chain, make sure it doesn’t look like it was a 2 for 1 special at the flea market. This shit is just ugly. The “Map Of New York City” portion on top looks like it would break off mad easy and the colours give New York City a sort of Fruity Pebbles vibe. I hope Busta kept the receipt.

3. T-PAIN

* NOTE – T-Pain started off as a rapper and still raps. He counts.

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According to T-Pain on Twitter, this chain cost him $410,000. I’m pretty sure there are kids in Ethiopia right now playing darts with a picture of Teddy P. I get the joke. It’s a big ass chain and it says “Big Ass Chain.” Hilarious. You know what else is funny? How dumb it looks.

2. SEAN KINGSTON

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There are so many things to dislike about Sean Kingston that it makes it challenging to just focus on the chain. That being said, I’m gonna do my best. First of all why? Does anyone look at this and go “yo Sean that is dope man.” He’s lucky those crayons don’t come out the box ’cause if he wore this around me I’d go straight colouring book status on his eyes.

1. SKOOL BOY

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I don’t know who Skool Boy is but I do know he has the most ridiculous chain I’ve ever seen. Look, I love chicken wings but you don’t see me with an iced out 10 piece around my neck do you? I’d imagine even the person he bought this from looked at him like “n*gga is you crazy?” It has gotta be rough when your chain has more buzz than you.

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ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

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ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?

SIR, i have come to ask permission to marry lour lovely daughter… BY PHIL McANDREW

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Lifestyles of the Animated and High

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Lifestyles of the Animated and High

When people think of cartoon characters getting high, the conversation always turns to Shaggy of Scooby-Doo. And why not? He talks to a dog. He’s paranoid that he’s being chased by ghosts. He has a perpetual box of Scooby Snacks when the munchies hit.

But Shaggy’s not the only animated guy toking up in the back seat of the Mystery Machine. Check out the secret drug addictions of these ten cartoon characters.

Defendant: Yogi Bear

Drug of Choice: Marijuana

Shaggy’s not the only one indulging in a spliff. Perhaps Yogi grows his own in Jellystone National Park. An omnipresent yearning for pic-a-nic baskets and Ranger Smith paranoia are both signs of the pot smoker. Plus his mention that he’s “smarter than the average bear” is a version of the “I swear, I’m not drunk” tell.

Defendant: Underdog

Drug of Choice: Anabolic steroids

He’s a mild-mannered Shoeshine Boy – until Polly Purebred’s in trouble. Then he pops an “Underdog Super Energy Pill” and he morphs into a canine version of Superman. In the mid-to-late 80s, they edited the pill-popping scenes out. That way no one would know what steroids are!

Defendant: Sherman (of Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman)

Drug of Choice: LSD

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Sherman is “owned” by a “genius dog” named “Mr. Peabody” and takes “trips” in the “WABAC machine” that go “back in time.” ‘Nuff said.

Defendant: Wilma Flintstone & Betty Rubble (of The Flintstones)

Drug of Choice: Valium

Wilma and Betty are the cave precursors to Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Although Fred and Barney are less douchey than dopey. The only way that they haven’t gone all Bam-Bam on their men has to be a healthy dose of Mother’s Little Helper.

Defendant: Morocco Mole (of The Secret Squirrel Show.)

Drug of Choice: Hashish

He’s from Morocco. He’s got beady eyes. And he wears a fez but no pants?

Defendant: Jem (of Jem and the Holograms)

Drug of Choice: Ecstasy

When her father died, he left her Synergy, a holographic computer designed to be the “ultimate visual entertainment synthesizer.” I’m sure he left her his happy pills, too. Jem single-handedly introduced rave culture to the tween set.

Defendant: Speedy Gonzalez

Drug of Choice: Crank

This one’s pretty obvious. Although I discovered that Speedy, as well as being a speed freak, was also a pimp. Maybe he was chasing his high some 72-hour weekend as well?

Defendant: Elroy Jetson (of The Jetsons)

Drug of Choice: Ritalin

Brilliant. Focused. Straight-A student. Never gets into trouble. With parents like clueless George and perfectionist Jane, this kid’s gotta be on something.

Defendant: Natasha Fatale (of Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Drug of Choice: Diet pills.

She’s a former model and a past Miss Transylvania who’s managed to keep her figure. All before heroin chic!

Defendant: Tom (of Tom & Jerry)

Drug of Choice: Vicodin

He’s been hit on the head with hammers, with frying pans, with baseball bats. He’s been set on fire, drowned, run over, blown up. Like a feline Timex, this housecat takes a licking and keeps on ticking. What’s his secret? I say liberal doses of Vicodin.

What sort of drugs do you think the characters of your favorite cartoons/comics do?

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